Every woman has the exact love life she wants or Do Women accept the love they think they deserve? (#TheSW30 Day6)

 When I think about the quote that says “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”  I think that this is completely and utterly false, to an extent.  The love life that I want involves me sitting in mansion somewhere, with a man that worships the ground I walk on, and is willing to give me anything in life.  Obviously I do not have that.

I will be fair and say that some women deserve the love life they get.  I have seen women who are continuously doing the same dumb thing time and time again and wonder why they keep getting the same type of man.

Therefore if you are the type of woman who allows a man to mooch off of you, take your money, sleep with you and run....and you keep going through the same pattern, then guess what you deserve that.

Granted the first time you may be being a fool, but after a while of doing the same thing over and over again and your love life stills sucks then you do have the exact love life you want because that is the one you created.


Now for single women like myself who want some prince charming to fall from the sky and sweep her off her feet.  I feel a woman plays a bigger part in creating a dysfunctional relationship pattern for herself than a functional one.  Take me for example, I used to be completely dysfunctional and used to breed the dysfunctional relationship pattern.  But now that I have worked on myself I no longer have that dysfunctional relationship pattern, in fact I have no relationship pattern at all.

A woman is not entirely in control of it all.  The men of this day and age are not men ( I am not talking about all men, just talking in general).  As times shift men do not take pride in taking care of their women, children, or themselves.  Many find it acceptable to use and leech off of women, most of them even take pride in it.

So for women like myself who think back to the Boaz’s of biblical times (see my blog here) there are not so many of them to choose from..  So even though I am emotionally ready for a relationship many men my age are not.

So no, I do not feel like I have the love life I want.  I know plenty of good woman who do not have the love life they want either.  But to answer the question fully, I do think that women play apart in the type of love life they get.

The men I date now are not the same men I would have dated 8 years ago.  This is because I have changed and therefore what I accept has changed.  And when I get a love life, I am sure that will be changed as well.  As a matter of fact God has shown me this in a recent event.

I am a single mother with a son who is 6.  When I was 24-25 the way my son’s father spoke to me was very disrespectful, and most of the time I did not really even know the difference.  I just kind of accepted it.  Flash forward, I asked him a simple question and he began to drop the F-bomb for no reason what so ever.  What was acceptable at 24 is not acceptable at 30 and I had to let him know that.  As a matter of fact I often have to let him know how to speak to me, his excuse is that is just him.

Well that may be him but I no longer have to accept the verbally abusive him, I can just walk away and I did.  He can save that craziness for someone else.  Now if I would have stayed then I deserved that jacked up form of love that he was showing me.  Being spoken to any type of way.  But I learn to walk away from that and men like that.  Now when I see any hints of it in a man, they can go.

I learned to accept something different, and when I do get the right man I feel that I deserve the love that I get because it took me to learn what love was and what I deserved, even if I do not have that love life now.

Does that makes sense?

I think A better quote is, "Women accept the love they think they deserve."