Women Who Fight Each Other Over A Man

 Often times when you are in the midst of something crazy you do not see or understand the full extent of the craziness until you are on the outside looking in.  I can recall so many years ago, when I used to be the type of woman that felt I needed to be in competition with other women over a man. Great thing for me is I smartened up.

Unfortunately this is a common situation that many women find themselves in.  For with age, common sense, and direction of the Holy Spirit I learned that I should not be competing with anyone for any man.  I learned quickly that if the man does not want me then why should I want them?  It is a simple question that requires a simple solution but when I look around me I see and pity so many women running around fighting each other for a man, all for the man’s entertainment.

Just in a situation recently, I bumped into an ex and now he is with a women that he has been messing around with on and off for several years.  For some reason she and he flaunted their relationship like I was supposed to be jealous.  On the inside I was thinking about what an idiot she was.  Just to give you a recap, my ex was juggling all of three maybe four women. And this happened several years ago.  Once I got educated about what was going on and tired of completing with ALL the other women, I left the other women in the situation to hash it out.  And this literally had to be about five years ago.

I guess once I  left the situation, the remaining women hashed it out for this one man who they perceived was some type of prize.  I do not know about them but when I was in a relationship with him, he got all my nerves, had a lot of growing up to do, and I realized that it was only his looks that I was attracted to.  Not him as a person.  Now five years later, here my ex and his woman stand, her all proud as if she won the mega millions lottery.

In my mind I am thinking, she only won by default since the other  women probably got tired of the run around.  She literally she was the last woman standing and this was somehow sufficient for her.  How sad?

What is even sadder is that she has been in this run around with him for over 10 years! And now they have the nerve to say that they are getting married.  And not that he proposed to her or anything, she proposed to him! Say what! I get equal rights with women and everything, but somethings should not be so.  And forcing a man to marry you after he has been with woman 1 through 10 during you so called relationships, is not my idea of love.  But apparently it is her ideal of love, so who am I to judge.

I hope that when you see this whole story in black and white you truly realize how ridiculous this is, and for those of you who are in the same type of situation, you learn to get out of it and get out now.  Can you imagine if I would have spent the last five years of my life chasing after this man, how much of my time would have been wasted all for nothing?  And he really is not even a catch.  The last time I checked he was living with his mother, did not have a car, and did not take care of the many children he has scattered across this country.  Oh well, except the one that he has with the girlfriend he is currently with now.

I suppose she does not care about the children he has had after hers, that he does not take care of.  The countless abortions he has had by other women or the fact that he cheated on her for the last 10 years.  Because in her mind, she wins and on to her happily ever after.

I think that these are the things that we go through when we are young learning about relationships.  Lord knows, that I did.  But as I got older I got wiser.  These two people are in their mid to late 30’s still playing this cat and mouse game.  Who has time for all of that?!  Can you imagine starting this game in your early 20’s and now finishing in your mid 30’s, is this really a win for you?


So often times women want to blame men for what they do, but how about women blame themselves for what they accept. Because on any given day when a man is not acting right, you have the free will to walk away.  And do not say that you are in love, because even if you are, he is not in love with you.  Love does not do that to people.  Real love is about two people being dedicated to one another and willing to work on the relationship so they can make it better for both of them.

If the relationship or situation that you are in, is not like this. Then this signifies a problem.  Stop playing the game now! Do not pass go or collect $200! Just stop playing and really find out what is wrong with you as to why you feel you do not deserve to have your own man who loves you and does not want you to compete with another woman for his love.

I think what the game changer for me was God.  Once I began to see how God loved me, I knew the things that God wanted for me; and what this man was offering was simply not it.  Once you know how God love you then it will be easy to recognize a man or women who is good for you, because God will send someone who loves you and sees you in the same way.


It does not take us to convince God to love us, see our strengths, or values us; He loves us anyway regardless of our downfall and shortcomings.  It’s a lot like that in a real relationship.  Someone will find you, love you (downfalls and all) and be willing to work on your relationship with just you two to help heal the wounds of the past.  Not make more wounds for you to heal from.  Does that make sense? I really hope it does.  Do not allow your loneliness to lead you down a path of desperation and toxic relationships, it is just not worth it. And most importantly do not let your competitive nature and not wanting to loose to another women cause you to waste valuable time on a man that is not worth your time.  Bow out gracefully.